Life, love and infertility...

I haven't blogged in such a long time. I've missed it! It's pretty therapeutic for me to sit and write out my thoughts...

We are settling in fairly well in Nairobi. It's really beautiful here. Nairobi is a bustling city but at the same time, you aren't so far removed from gorgeous nature. Right outside the city is a national park (with lots of animals). Last weekend, we went for a lovely drive and explored so much of the rural landscape right outside the city on our way to do a tour of the Kitengela glass company (very cool place to visit by the way). The weather is ideal in Nairobi--it's 66 degrees right now as I write this post. :) We are loving it here!

Climbing Mt. Longonot here in Kenya! 

At the Kitingela Glass Company last weekend

We moved here almost 7 months ago now...I can't believe it! We have some good friends already, mostly because Samaritan's Purse is so much like a family to us, and when we are working for SP we have instant family/friends built in. However, we still feel like we have a long way to go to really make Nairobi home. We recently heard about a married couple's bible study that meets on Thursday nights. I think becoming a part of this group will help us feel more settled as we get into the Word with good friends! God always provides a family for us wherever we live.  The first couple of moves we made, I always worried about that. Making friends was always at the top of my worry list because relationships are so important to me. But honestly, I don't worry anymore. Like I said, God has always provided for us.

We love living closer to Tred again!!!!

My sweet friend Heather! Thankful for her friendship here in Nairobi!

Ruco travels a lot with his job. I have also been working with SP on a project in South Sudan so have done a bit of traveling for work too. So, we are just trying to get used to being apart more frequently as part of our work. This doesn't come easy to me (or Ruco), as we sincerely love being together. But I am praying God also makes this aspect of our lives easier for us too and just allows us to immensely enjoy the time when we actually get to be together! 

A photo from my recent trip to South Sudan for work 

Visiting Ruco's parents in Swakopmund, Namibia for Christmas! 

I also have spent A LOT of time in the US recently. I went for the first time in November for my youngest brother's wedding, and stayed for maybe 4 weeks or so. Then I went again in January for a big family vacation (Disney) for my nephew's 3rd birthday and stayed once again for about a month! I wasn't planning on being in the US for that long, but had some health issues come up so had to stay around longer.

My brother and beautiful new sister in law! They got married end of November!  So happy for them! 

While I was in the US, my doctor actually did a laparoscopic surgery to check out some pain issues I was having and found that I have stage 4 endometriosis. :( During the surgery, the doctor has a tiny camera to take photos and also a laser to remove any endometriosis he finds while doing the surgery.

My mom was with me for that surgery and my Grandmama drove all the way from Lousiana to go with me to my follow-up appointments. I was so thankful that they were there to support me emotionally. At my first follow-up appointment after my surgery, my doctor showed me what a normal woman's insides/photos look like and what my photos actually look like. The endometriosis has made my reproductive parts and intestines all stuck together and not where they should be at all. The doctor was actually not able to laser off any of the endometriosis because of the severity and location of the endo, and explained that in my current state, there is a 0% chance of Ruco and I conceiving a baby. It was all hard news to hear, but I was so glad to have my Mom and Grandmama close to support me.

Mom and I at Disney! 

My sweet Grandmama and I

My doctor suggested I have a second more invasive surgery to clear out the endo, but sent me to a reproductive specialist first for a 2nd opinion.

When I went to see the specialist, he confused me and stressed me so much that I just scheduled my plane ticket to go back to Ruco in Nairobi! He recommended IVF and not the surgery. He said before they always recommended the surgery because that was all they had to treat endo. However the surgery creates scar tissue and endo to grow back worse. Also it can harm my eggs because even the most skilled doctors have a risk of cutting off blood supply to the ovaries, and so then we wouldn't be able to have biological children. So doctors now recommend IVF.

Its been hard news. I never thought we would be an infertile couple. You just never think it will happen to YOU. We've been trying to get pregnant for a really long time, and it's an extremely painful process. Each month feels like a loss.

However, I'm thankful to know now what the problem is and can move forward with a decision either for the 2nd surgery or start figuring out the finances for IVF. We are praying hard and trusting that God has a beautiful plan for us. He's never failed us, and I am resting and trusting that He is faithful and knows what is best for us. Even if we NEVER have biological children, I know that He is God and He is faithful and loves us SOOO very much.

Thanks for all my friends/family who have prayed and written us personal emails to check on us. I wasn't sure about sharing the news of our infertility in a public arena, but it seems like infertility is more common than I ever realized, and its been amazing to receive support from other women going through the same thing!

While I was still in the US, I was sitting at a Starbucks working on a paper for my Masters program. I was really struggling as I'd just received the news about the severity of the endo when a friend I hadn't seen in YEARS walked up to me to say "hi." Within a few minutes of our conversation, she shared with me that she and her husband have also been struggling with infertility. It felt like such a divine appointment considering I don't live in the US, and she said she rarely gets a day off of work. It was so nice as I realized, "I'm not alone!" and God can use this trial so that I can encourage others with the encouragement He gives me. Since that meeting, I've had countless conversations with women also going through infertility. Most recently, I've found out that American friends here in Nairobi have also been trying to conceive for the same amount of time that Ruco and I have. Hearing the wife tell their story and the way she has dealt with infertility encouraged me so much!

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive form God." 2 Cor. 1: 3-4

I'm so thankful for the opportunities that God has given me to be comforted by Him and by the women He has chosen to use in my life. I also pray that I will be a comfort to others! Our God is sooo good and we are leaning on Him during this time, and I know we will get through it together.

Phew, so that's mostly an update. There is more to share, but this is turning into a book! I will try to do another update soon! Thanks again for all your love and prayers...we miss all of you!

xoxo

beautiful Namibia

In September, just before leaving beautiful Namibia, Ruco and I did a "living desert tour" in Swakopmund. Ruco's parents live in Swakopmund again (Ruco lived there for 6 years growing up) and I loved exploring their cute German town for the first time. Swakopmund is surrounded by the gorgeous Atlantic ocean on one side and beautiful Namib desert on the other side. It's SUCH a unique place. We are looking forward to going back and spending Christmas there this year.

On the living desert tour, we spotted lots of these funny chameleons. Our guide brought food for them, but it was SO cold that many of them didn't even try to eat. Their tongues would move SO slow going for the food! 

The roads in Namibia are SO desolate. Not many people out and walking around. This is NOT the Africa I am used to (busy roads with pedestrians and bicycles)!! :) 

I had NEVER seen desert sand dunes like this. Throughout most of Namibia, I kept saying "oh this looks like Arizona!!" or other places, but once we got to Swakopmund, it was a whole other desert than what I had experienced before! 

We spotted one of these dwarf snakes, and I guess they are rare to spot? I think I declined the offer to hold this one.

I love the colors of these bright geckos! Our guide would dig them out of the sand when he would spot their tracks under the sand...crazy! 

We also spotted a horned adder (well our guide did). I was REALLY not interested in getting close to this guy. Apparently VERY poisonous.

We also had time just to sit and enjoy the dunes with cold drinks. It was gorgeous! Our God is SO creative! 

A skink. I did hold this guy. Very strange thing.

Overlooking the beautiful Atlantic. Swakopmund is so unique that it has the ocean AND the desert! Love it. 

This is Spitzkoppe. We camped here one night at the base of it. It was an amazing experience! 

The dancing white lady spider was forced out of her home by our guide. Then she danced a little jig to show us how angry we had made her!!

It was fascinating for me to learn so much about Namibia on our trip. I can't wait to go back!

Dreams...

There is so much to say about the last month and a half. I have been in South Africa and Namibia (the two countries where my husband grew up) for the very first time. It has really been a dream come true for me. I have met many of Ruco's extended family (aunts, uncles, and cousins) for the first time. We were also able to spend some wonderful quality time with Ruco's grandma in Cape Town. I got to see the hospital where Ruco was born in Cape Town, the house he lived in, and even the area of South Africa where my father-in-law's family comes from.  We are currently in Swakopmund, Namibia and have loved spending time with Ruco's mom, dad, and brother. Its been so great for me to finally get to SEE the places and MEET the people that I've heard so much about for the last 10 years. It really was SO special for me!

Ruco's grandmother grew up in this old farmhouse in South Africa!

Stellenbosch-where Ruco's parents went to college and met! It's beautiful wine country.

Ruco's dad's side of the family in Oudtshoorn, South Africa

I am blessed to have spent so much time getting to know my husband's culture and traveling through Southern Africa and  SouthEast Asia this summer. It has been an incredible 3 months, but I must say that I am DEFINITELY ready to have our own place and be settled again. Last night I had this CRAZY dream that my teeth were all loose and about to fall out. I could wiggle them and knew that they were about to all fall out. It was terrifying and so vivid...haha! I don't think I've EVER looked up the meaning of a dream, but I looked up Christian symbols in dreams, and the website I found talked about how if you dream about teeth being loose, you may be anxious about transition or change in your life/feeling unsettled. hmm...

I have definitely been feeling unsettled. It's been great fun traveling all around, but I am SO ready to get to Kenya and start building our life there. Ruco is also excited about starting his job...he is the new "food assistance advisor" for Samaritan's Purse. We will be based in Nairobi, but Ruco will be traveling to all offices where SP operates food programming to offer insight/training, etc. I think the role is perfect for him and he will do great. I am continuing my online MPH degree, and am hoping to either work part-time or find volunteer work. I am praying about that one, but I know God has the perfect opportunity already lined up for me. He is so faithful.

I am amazed at the way that He takes care of us. Even though it feels like we are continuously starting over in new places, He always provides. He always provides friends and a church family to surround us, and a place to call home. I have faith that He will once again make provisions for us in Nairobi and we will find "home" there.  Matthew 6:26 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" I know it's so true. We are His children that He loves! Of course He is going to provide for us in this new place!

Thanks for your prayers! We love you all!

My brother in law and I at the family's old farmhouse

Got to visit the southernmost point of Africa!

Ruco and I at the southernmost tip of Africa.

sigh...I love South Africa!!

Our Asian adventure!!!

I am so glad we were finally able to do this trip! We had saved up money and had planned to do a backpacking trip after our time in Uganda a couple of years ago. However, Ruco was asked to help out in Haiti following the earthquake, and we decided that going to Haiti was probably a little more important at that time. (just a little bit). ha!

 But God knew when the perfect time for this trip would be, and knew that I would need this time with him more now than I did then. I was tired after our time in Uganda, but I was in a better place spiritually. This trip, I was seeking to be able to spend time with God to renew my spirit and realign my heart with His. He did just that! It was amazing.

As far as South East Asia goes, it was beautiful beyond expectation. I was telling a girlfriend recently (and I'm embarrassed to admit it), but for a long time, I didn't really care too much about traveling through Asia. For as long as I can remember, I've been so smitten with Africa. But now, I cant believe I didn't care about this place. Thailand (especially down south around the islands) is the most beautiful place I've ever been. There are majestic rock formations and islands sprinkled all over this amazingly gorgeous ocean. At one point, Ruco said, "I think God had so much fun making Thailand!" And that's exactly what it looks like!

Beyond that, the people here are so kind and welcoming. We had so much fun learning about Asian cultures in Japan, Indonesia, and Thailand. We spent just a few days in Japan to start our trip. Then, we spent about 1 month in Indonesia-starting out in Bali and then traveling to Nusa Lembongan, Gili islands, Lombok island, and Sembawa and back to Bali. Then we were in Thailand for about 3 weeks. We flew into Phuket and spent time down south in the islands first-Ko Phi Phi and Koh Phangan before taking the train all the way up north and going to Chiang Mai. We head over to Bangkok tomorrow, and fly out of Thailand on July 13th. I can't believe our time is almost up here. It has gone by so fast! But as far as logistics, its so easy to get around here (traveling isn't a headache at all like it is in Africa)! And it is SO cheap! We had dinners on the beach and stayed in beach bungalows and did things we would never be able to afford back home. I would highly recommend South East Asia for a vacation locale! Send me a message if you want more info about where we stayed/what we did, etc. I can't take credit for our trip planning (Ruco did most of it) but would love to share info if you are coming this way!

Now there are so many other places we want to visit in Asia, although I highly doubt we will be able to take 2 months and travel like we did this time...at least not before retirement! ha! I am so thankful for all the work Ruco put into planning this trip for us, and hope these memories last us a lifetime!

On July 13th, we are on to CapeTown, South Africa!!! After 10 years of dating/being married to a South African boy, I get to see where he was born and grew up! I cant wait!!!